A New Student Entering My Studio
By Kathy In Student Success Stories On February 15, 2015
Seven-year-old Jasper came to my two-hour class for the first time a few years ago, with Adam and his son. Adam had urged Stacey, Jasper’s mom, to send Jasper to my classes. He told me she was a most unusual kid and he thought we’d be a good fit. Adam and Stacey were well aware that Jasper needed “the right chemistry.”
It was a perfectly beautiful early autumn day. The other students had already arrived. Adam’s son, Blu, ran into the class with anticipation. Adam whispered to me that Jasper is “shy.”
Kids are more comfortable with kids than with adults who approach them, so I sent out a group of kids to urge Jasper to come in and check things out. They joyfully ran out and slowly came back in. Jasper didn’t choose to enter the studio. Adam, the father, was unsure what to do. Should he drive off or stick around. He wants Jasper to have the experience of being in my classes. I suggest we go outside to see what is happening. Jasper is sitting on top of his car! Now one thing I know for sure, shy kids do not sit on top of cars. I also know that now is the time for me to establish the ground rules. In a matter of fact way I say, “I need for you to get off the car.” Jasper gets off the car. Good sign.
Jasper entered my space on her terms while understanding that there are limits to what I’ll allow. OK so far.
Still she’s not inside the door.
I tell her that her older sister came to class and that sometimes she came with her mom to pick her sister up. I wondered if she’d remembered it, even though she’d been very little.
She said no, she had no memories of it.
I said, maybe so, she didn’t come all that often and she’d been very little afterall.
I had to return to my other students. I turned to go back in; she didn’t follow.
“The weather is perfect; it’s warm, sunny, with cool breezes. It’s your first day, so you may stay outside.” In this way I let her know that this would happen on only the first day, kinda like playing poker.
I went inside and began working with the other students.
Time passes; no sign of Jasper.
I ask a student to check on her. She comes back, “Jasper is fine.”
I look out the window. Jasper is sitting on a rock looking comfortable. There are no tears, she’s not slumped, she looks perfectly at ease.
I wait a while and send someone else out.
My missionary comes back with a message. Jasper says that she, “also am nice to new people when they come to my school for the first time.”
It wasn’t until class was officially over that Jasper came into the studio. When her mother came to pick her up, she didn’t want to leave.
In a nut shell, Jasper at seven, felt confident that she was safe, that she was willing to test The System. She needed to find out what I would do; She wasn’t about to commit herself to something that she was unsure of. I was completely with her on this point, and we found a meeting ground.
This all happened a few years ago. Recently Jasper and her family decided to relocate. In their relocation plans, Jasper’s only demand was that she wouldn’t have to give up Kathy Anderson’s. Her mother informed me that next year Jasper will be attending my Saturday class.
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